Save Me From Myself
by Hedwig199
Summary: After they realize how much they miss Dumbledore, Ron and Hermione realize something more about each other, and themselves. RHr oneshot.


A/N: I know I seem like such a Ron/Hermione basher, but it's cause of the movies, I tell you! Did you know that most of the important information lines in the movie Hermione says, in book Ron has? Poor Ron,I hope he looks good in this.

I scowled again. I coulden't belive it. McLaggen went on about something having to do with Quidditch; I was never interested. But, sadly, I was watching Ginny and Harry talking and Lavender flirtatiously smiling at Ron every two seconds, touching his arm. Ew. Gag me, honestly. I sighed. _Never true friends again._ I liked Ro-him; I do, but he's just too damn stubborn. We were friends, but ever since-yeah, but we haven't talked about...us. If there is such a thing as us. I wish.

I looked at the brown-haired girl as she huffed off. Sheesh, Lavender. Who hasn't gone out with her? But Ron looked so...happy, and for a second, I hoped it was fake, but it's not like you don't know why. I hardly did. Another scowl appeared. I know, it's was right after Dumbledore's funeral, but McLaggen still wanted to get a word or two in before my parents came. I hoped they would come soon. People were being pulled out of Hogwarts left and right, so McGonagall told us to go inside for at least a couple more hours, till late afternoon.

"So then, I kicked that Bludger, not breaking a bone in my foot." McLaggen finished proudly. I rolled my eyes.

"Wonderful." I said, bored. McLaggen didn't pick up on this whatsoever and went on. My eyes were flickered between him and Ron. Stupid Ron, always making her let him copy. But, he was smart. He always helped out and stuck next to her and Harry, no matter what. I looked at him longingly, can you belive it5? I was longing for him, just to say one bloody word-Gosh, I missed him beyond words. I am stubborn, I must admit, but what the bloody hell was I supposed to do? Say, "Hey Ron, mate, I just wanted to tell you, I love you! See you!" I gasped.

I just thought I loved him. Ha, I'm pretty sure I didn't mean that...I think.

They way he would crack jokes, that most of the time I didn't understand...I laughed quietly and stared at him, watching his blue eyes being to dull with boredom as Lavender walked off with Parvati. Hah, I love that.

_He has nice eyes..and hair...and I like his freckles, they're cute...'_ I caught his gaze for a second and looked away, my cheeks flushing and feeling hot. I can't belive he caught me staring at him-it's not like I-never mind.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_McLaggen. Big deal!_ I thought as Lavender laughed at something, I don't know, I had said at least several minutes ago. When we're not snogging, she's laughing or something. Hermione would never laugh at everything, and I thought that was a bad thing, but, it gets bloody annoying when you giggle at everything!

"So, do you ever want to get back together?" Lavender asked, twirling her brown hair on her finger.

Uh, I don't think so." My eyes darted to Hermione. Lavender noticed this, and huffed off angrily. She kind of disgusted me, trying to hook up after Dumbledore's death. I mean, not even an hour went by.

I remembered all of a sudden, while I was int he Hospital Wing on my birthday, while waking up for a while, Hermione looked frantic as ever, her knuckles turining white gripping my bedside. I scoffed. Hermione. Its not like we're commited, I can see anyone I bloody well mean to! But still. He looked at Hermione, who's eyes glazed over and she wasn't paying attention for the first time. Lavender saw Parvati, so I leaned back in my chair in the common room, hoping she would be long. I looked at her again, more of a gaze than a glance. I hoped she woulden't catch me or anything, that would be humiliating.

Hemione would always boss me around, telling me how horrible I was at homework and Quidditch. But, she did come through for us all those times when we were in danger. I stared into her chocolate brown eyes, for a moment, and noticed her glow.

She had a happy, vibrant glow. And her hair was pretty tamed, not as frizzy as 1st year. Like that mattered, I would have liked her,70s hair or not. It wasn't smoothed down completely, but she had done a pretty good job. He watched as she flipped her hair back impatiently, like she always did. Was McLaggen bothering her? I would Stun him on a snap.

_'I can't deny it, she's bloody beautiful.' _I thought, sighing heavily. She caught my gaze, and I felt my cheeks warm. She darted her eyes away quickly. Was she looking at me? A glimmer of hope rose in my chest, but I shut it down. Hermione would never look at me, let alone stare.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_'Gosh, I wish he'd just came out and say something to me!' _I thought angrily, slamming my fist on the table, startling McLaggen. It wasn't that hard to just say one thing-just one word! McLaggen kept on trying to talk to me, and I wasn't sure why. It's not like we were going out;I just needed someone to make him jealous. A strange, bitter taste was in my mouth at that thought; how horrible was I really being? I felt like vomiting at this point.

"Listen, I have to go." I said. Before he could say anything, with a choked sob, I got up and ran. I'm not sure how far I ran or where, but all I knew is that I ran until my knees buckled form underneath me. I also knew I crashed into a door, after running up some stairs. I was a mess, I had to admit. I looked up, and I was standing on a balcony, sitting over the Black Lake. I turned, and saw the door I slammed into, and rubbed my shoulder. I was in the Astromony Tower, where Snape was hours ago. I looked over it and gulped. It was a long way down. I stood on the very edge of the stone, looking over. Why was I here?

The air was calm and the sun shone brightly. I stood there, tears slipping down my cheeks, scared of what I might do. I saw Dumbledore's casket far away and gulped. Was this it for me? Did I want to accept the same fate? I looked down again.

But I turned slowly around and landed on my knees.

I let out a cry of pain. I wasn't just hurting on the outside since I've just skinned my knees; I was hurting as if I had ripped my heart out on the inside. That was stupid thing to d;I didn't want to cause myself pain...as far as I knew, maybe I subconciensly want to just get rid of the pain. It's basically an expression of what it felt like; my heart was ripped out. A lump swelled in my throat. I wiped my tear and dirt streaked face. Was I going to jump? Of course not, I'm not a moron!

But for second, I wanted to. And that thought scared the hell out of me.

Everything was going downhill for me; Dumbledore was gone, Hogwarts may be closed, and Ron was still not accepting-or confessing- that he-I huddled up into a ball and sobbed. God, no matter how idiotic and incredibly thick-headed Ron is, I would never, ever stop loving him; he was handsome, brave, and he can think quickly in most sitations. Never again would I forget him. That I made sure of. How could I, he was a moron!

But he was _my _moron.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione sobbed and ran past me, as if I weren't there. I felt her hair pass me, and I inhaled. The scent of cinnamon powder. She even smelled good when she was sad or mad. Just another great quality of Hermione. 'Mione. I loved her name, so unique; all these feelings rised up in the pit of my stomach. I'm in love with her, how could I deny it?

All that time, The Yule Ball, The Slug Club, when she was Petrified, when he was also in the Hospital Wing...they had always been by each others side. I closed his eyes, and without a word, took off after Hermione.

The Astromony Tower is proably where she went; to think,Dumbledore, falling into the air hours before. But he shook that thought off. He had to do it. Finally. He ran as fast as he could as saw Hermione, standing on the edge of the balcony. He asped and turned around from the door, heart thumping. She woulden't jump, she's Hermione.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hugged my bloody knees to me, cried and wept like a baby. I coulden't belive it; me, strong Hermione was losing control. I mean, it's not like I haven't cried before, but never like this. I fet like I would never stop; well, until I was helped up. I grabbed the hand hesistantly,slowly pulling on my wand. After today you could never be too careful. The sunlight blinded me, and I tried to see who it was, and saw the flaming red hair. Oh, damn. Ron seeing me weak, just perfect!

I stared at him with watery eyes. The dirt stung thewm, so I kept rubbing them. I shot up to full height-little to quickly to look proper, for my knees buckled again till a pair of strong arms held me up. He stared back with fierce and determined blue eyes. What was he going to say? Well,t at was pretty obvious.

"Ron." I said, barely above a whisper. I was suprised when he leaned his face closer to me, I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Ron, I-I can't, um.." But I was at a loss of words. He was going to kisws me, what could I do? I wanted ot give in, heart and soul. What was keeping me from-

He put a finger on my lips, silencing me. I had confusion in my eyes and in that moment, for the first time, Ronald Wesley kissed me. I was insteantly paralyzed in fear and happiness.

I talk way too much.

My pain felt numb in my legs; so numb, I could stand on my own without crying in pain. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back. it as unbelivable for me, that stupid Ron was kissing me, and euphoria replaced the cold numbness in my heart. He let go, and we stared at each other in shock. Then, he frantically kissed my neck, mumbling, "I'm sorry." over and over. my stomach flipped over and over, so kissed him again. Because, belive it or not, that felt much better.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was amazing, and not a bad kisser to add to it. It had been forever since I felt that kind of warmth inside of me, I was bewildred. It was actually happening, and a rush of sympathy came over me, and I pecked her neck over and over. I was so sorry, really sorry. How much of an idiot was I being, all this time? I loved her, oh, I loved her so much.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"'Mione." he croaked. I gave a warm smile and sat down, and pulled out my wand, deciding to mend my own knees, which was dangerous, but I wanted to go wth Ron.He held out his hand, and I stared at him it. Before I took it, I had to ask myself a question: was this the path I wanted?

I'm kind of an idiot sometimes.

I smiled at him, interlacing my fingers with his warm and rough ones. We walked back downstairs, hand in hand in silence. He would glace at me every other second; I was looking so far into his deep blue eyes. They sparkled with happiness; I was so overwhelmed, the gasps and the applause from different Gryffindors were just backrgound noise; I think I saw Neville giving a thumbs up and Seamus slapping him on the back as we passed.

Could this get any better? Tears still splattered on my robes, from excitment and from my knees. Talk about cyanide and happiness.

What they say is true, silence is golden. Well, some sort of bronze anyways; nothing's perfect after all.

Let's see what Lavender thinks of that.

Ginny be ecstatic, me dating her brother, and Harry will be proud of Ron and I, he's our best friend!

My hero in not my kinght in silver, shining armor, but in old, patchy dress robes.

I gave a low chuckle. Ron, always saving me from myself.

A/N: Can you say romantic? I don't mean to brag, but I might start thinking about making more R/Hr, 'cause i think I'm pretty damn good at it, dontcha think? Yeah...so, please click the light purple button. I don't care if you review saying that you like peanuts or monkeys, or that ironically, in British-English, peanuts are monkey nuts. Or your fave color, food, JUST PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON!!


End file.
